online dating

Slay Your Dating Dragons

Hello, Naked Daters.

The journey to find true love is and always has been a hero’s journey, and today I want to give a shout out to all of you who are bravely on the path.

You are on a quest with many levels and plenty of dragons to slay along the way. 

If you’ve been single for a long time, chances are you’ve already slayed a few. You survived some bad relationships, regained your energy, and have put yourself back out into the unruly kingdom of dating.

And because you’ve done some work, you figure you should be good to go.

Still a lot of times you end up at a big table in front of an empty plate pounding your knife and fork…

…and waiting for a magic feast to appear. 

And that’s just not how it works.

Just the other day, a client of mine said to me six weeks through my 6 month program, “I’m ready and I want it now!”

If you are feeling that way right now, you are likely fighting the same insidious mid-level dragon my client is fighting: IMPATIENCE.

In fact, that very feeling is a telltale sign that you are not ready.

So I will tell you the same thing that I told her. “If you were ready, you would already have met the guardian of your soul.”

When we are ready, things come to us. We attract them into our lives. That’s how it works.

You can want it until you’re blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to have it.

And you can’t force it to happen. You don’t get to just decide when your partner shows up. 

However, there are some things you can do to move things along on your end:


I know this sounds insane – because, of course, you want to find love. But wanting something to happen is passive. 

To move energy and make things happen faster you need to move into action. 

To do that, you can begin to focus your energy on evolving yourself into the person that you need to become to attract the partner of your dreams.


Becoming the woman you need to be to attract true love into you life starts with using your dates as stepping stones to love.  Every date, good or bad, is an opportunity for you to see how you are blocking love. The goal is to learn how to take care of yourself emotionally while opening your heart to receive love.

Each date is a chance to…

get naked emotionally and ask for what you want, 

be yourself and let your dates be themselves,

become kinder and even more compassionate to others and yourself,

and learn how to listen better with an open mind and an open heart. 

If you do that, you will open up the space around your heart and you will attract love faster.


I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the more patient you are the faster it will happen.

When I was dating, one of the hardest parts of that process for me was t keep myself out there and stay positive and optimistic when I didn’t feel like I was getting the results I wanted.

I had to keep humbling myself and reminding myself that I didn’t get to decide when I was ready. That was up to the universe or the powers that be.

I had to accept that, when my true love did come into my life, it would be the reward for all the hard work I’ve done. That this would be the universe saying to me, “OK, now you’re ready.”

If I had met my husband, Benjamin, as the woman I was earlier in my life, he would not have been attracted to me. I was a very different person then—uncomfortable in my own skin, inexperienced in the ways of men, and emotionally unintelligent.

Using my dates as stepping stones to love, allowed me to grow up and become the woman I am today. I stopped dating like a teenager and became a real woman who could hold her own with a real man.

By the time I met Benjamin, two years and 96 first dates later, I was ready.

Don’t fight the process.

Allow yourself to learn and grow from each dating experience.

You can bang your knife and fork on the table for a lifetime waiting for a magical feast to appear.

OR…you can gather the ingredients and the recipes to create your own feast.

If you want to learn more about how I can help you get out of the quicksand once and for all and find the guardian of your soul, watch my webinar here.

And this magical link will book you a FREE 1 on 1 breakthrough call to get you started. 

This stuff is SO HARD to navigate on your own. I can help you get there way faster than you can on your own.

See you on the path, heroes. You know where to find me.

In Love and Nakedness,

All you want for Christmas is true love

Let me begin by saying that, if you’re miserably single this holiday season, there’s no need to be shy about it…at least, not with me.

Please know that I have all the love and respect in the world for you.

I’m especially glad you’re here reading this blog post… 

because I happen to have made some HOPE-SPIKED HOLIDAY PUNCH, and I bet you could use a glass.

You see, it was during an especially sh*tty holiday season that my whole love life changed.

I had spent so many holidays alone that I finally reached my limit and vowed to figure this out.

Visions of my past failures, my disappointment in myself, and fear about the future were pounding at my door like the ghosts that visited Ebenezer Scrooge.

The ghosts of the past showed me that, even though I had tried so hard to find true love, even though I wanted it SO BADLY…

…what I was doing hadn’t worked.  

I couldn’t spend more hours at the therapist’s office, do more workshops, or even read more books. I had done all of those things to no avail. 

If I wanted to attract the kind of man that I dreamed of, I needed to start going on dates, facing my fears and be open to change. 

There were no love coaches at that time so I looked to the best life coaches, teachers, mentors I could find. But I didn’t just work on me. I took what I was learning from them and I applied it directly to dating.

I’m not going to lie. It was hard. I had to do ‘the work,’ and it took me eight years.

Eight years speed dating, online dating, offline dating, you name it.

Trying and learning, trying and learning. Frustration and a lot of tears.

That eight years of problem-solving and struggle not only brought me to the most perfect magical love, my Benjamin…

…but it also formed the heart, guts, and bones of my amazingly powerful 3-month coaching program.

For 17 years now I have been a love coach and have had the profound gift of helping hundreds of women just like you find deep and lasting love. 

And not just love. Weddings and babies. Hundreds of them.

Not only does my program work, but I can also show you in just three months time what it took me eight years to figure out:

How to take down your emotional walls once and for all so you can stop spinning your wheels out in the dating world and attract the guardian of your soul.

So if you are fed up like I was, watch my free 45-minute webinar.

When you’re ready, book a call with me so that I can show you how I will guide you to the guardian of your soul.

Life is too short to struggle through this stuff on your own.

Think about it. If I’ve been around in Scrooge’s time, he and Belle might still be together.

Just sayin’.

Wishing you a very Happy Holidays, and here’s to all that’s possible in 2020!

Yours in Yuletide Nakedness,

Are YOU Not Showing Enough Interest

One of the biggest mistakes I made when I dated was that I didn’t show men I was interested in them. And, if I wasn’t showing interest, there was no way to create a spark. In retrospect, I can see that I didn’t get asked out on many second dates because men couldn’t tell if I was interested in them. Is this happening to you?

Women tell me all the time that they rarely meet men they’re attracted to. I get that. We all have our preferences for what we are looking for in a man. But that might not be the only thing that’s going on. Like me, you might have walls up that are protecting you from getting hurt. When you go on dates, it might feel like you aren’t attracted to any of the men you meet, but what’s really happening is that you are walled off and protecting yourself from getting hurt again. The only men that seem to get through that wall are the ones who feel familiar and are bad for you.

It took me years to remove the wall around my own heart. For years it seemed like I just wasn’t attracted to many men, but now I can see that it was my own fear that was keeping me from opening up and connecting with them. As I have become less guarded and more comfortable with men, I find so many more of them attractive. I am not saying that all of these guys were marriage material. They weren’t. But I can now see that I wasn’t even giving them a chance.

You might really want to have a man in your life, but you need to be honest and ask yourself if you are blocked and afraid of getting hurt.

All of us have been rejected by someone we love and we are afraid of getting our hearts broken again. It might have been your parents or the kids at school who hurt you. Maybe it was a lover, a boyfriend, or an ex-husband who betrayed your trust and broke your heart. Once this happens, it isn’t easy to trust again.

The hard part about breaking this pattern is that it really seems like you are not attracted to the men you’re meeting. The only way to shift it is to start admitting that you are playing a part in this equation. You need to set an intention to be more open and playful and open on your dates. We all want an instant spark, the kind we see in the movies. But if you aren’t connecting with any of the men you meet, you need to consider that you might be blocked and take steps to initiate a connection even if it isn’t there.

This last time when I dated, I made a conscious choice to keep my heart open. I went on dates with different men, many who were not my usual type. Because I stayed open, if it wasn’t a match, it was fine. I would just tell myself that, with each date, I was one step closer to one that was.

The more different types of men I dated, the more comfortable I became with men, and the more I was able to open up.

To truly open your heart, you need to throw away your list of requirements. Sure, I still had preferences and I knew the bar was high. But the truth is, if I knew everything to look for and how to find it, I would have already found my partner.

I didn’t know what my love was going to look like. I had no idea that my husband was going to be a bodyworker. I didn’t know he was going to be divorced and drive an old vintage car and live in a rental house.

If you’ve got that list, where the man you’re looking for needs an advanced degree, must be 6’ with a full head of hair, drive a fancy car, own a home, be at the top of his field, etc……..

…you are creating an impossibility.

So open up, get interested, and most of all SHOW interest. When you show up with open space in your heart and room to be surprised, that is when the magic happens.

If you are sick and tired of floundering out there, let’s get you some help. I know it is scary to think of facing this head-on, but I can tell you that what’s on the other side for you is beyond your wildest dreams.

If you haven’t already, check out my webinar. If it speaks to your heart, book a call.

I made it to the other side and have spent the last 17 years in the most magical relationship, and that is what I want for every woman on the planet.

Reach out, I look forward to connecting with you!

Yours in Nakedness,