I met him 17 years ago. There was a time when I didn’t think it was possible to meet a man like him. Especially not for me. Given my relationship history, my destructive patterns, my epic love failures…it was hard to believe that a man like him existed or, if he did, that he would be interested in me.
But the person who sat in a Thai restaurant in Los Feliz waiting for him to arrive for our first date was a very different Lisa than the woman who had left her 13-year marriage to a pathological liar 8 years earlier.
I had done work. I had changed. I had let go.
Even though my friends told me the kind of guy I would be looking for would never date online, I decided to try it anyway. I didn’t have anything to lose. I had learned to enjoy the energy of possibility. I knew that whoever showed up, he would be a divine being who was looking to love and to be loved just like me.
And because I had learned that every date was a stepping stone to love, I knew that whatever happened was going to be okay.
As I sat there waiting patiently, Benjamin was completely freaking out.
He had gotten lost on the way to the restaurant. He couldn’t get cell reception to call, and there was no texting then. He was 20 minutes late. Benjamin, I later learned, is never late…for ANYTHING!
Finally, he managed to get enough reception to call the restaurant and asked them to put me on the phone. I had been reading The Power of Now at the time. In it, Eckart Tolle says that when someone is running late, just say, “I am sitting here in-JOY-ing myself.” So, that’s exactly what I said. Then, I added, “Take all the time you need. I will be here when you get here.”
According to Benjamin, hearing those words set him at ease.
He later told me that this was one of the two things I said that made him fall in love with me that night.
As I sat there for another 10 minutes waiting for my future husband to arrive, I had no idea my life was about to change forever.
In the meantime, I enjoyed my jasmine tea.
Benjamin’s face lit up as he spotted me. He walked to the table and took both of my hands in his. As he looked deep into my eyes, he said, “It is so nice to meet you.” But then he continued to hold my gaze a little longer… and THAT was the moment. In the “little longer” of that gaze, it occurred to me that Benjamin was the finest human being I had ever met. Anyone who knows him will tell you that he exudes a blend of integrity, kindness, presence, and masculinity that is rarely seen.
I had no idea how our lives would fit together, but I didn’t need to worry.
Being the man that he is, Benjamin took the lead on every front. He asked me to marry him on the anniversary of our first date. Shortly after that, he told me to look for a house for us. On the second anniversary of our first date, we were married in an intimate gathering in the living room of our new home.
Benjamin and I just celebrated our 15th/17th Anniversary.
Over these 17 years, we have become lovers, playmates, and best friends.
So often I hear women say, “I want a man, but I don’t need a man.” I am so proud to say that I want and need a man.
Being with the right man has turned my life from black-and-white to Technicolor. Being with him the last 17 years has been magical, and brought the gifts that only the right man can bring.
Benjamin continues to blow me away with the depths of his wisdom and kindness. As we deal with the cancer treatment of both our beloved dogs, Milo and Owen, I feel equal measures of heartbreak and gratitude.
I know that I can endure anything with Benjamin by my side.
When I marvel at how I got lucky enough to find a man who read The Fours Agreements TWICE after our first date because I mentioned that I studied with the author, I think back to that moment in the Thai restaurant.
I think about what forces were at work that allowed Benjamin and me to click. I know that it may not have happened if I had not been sitting there with an open heart. I had emptied myself of all my old patterns, blocks, and expectations.
He showed up and I was in the right space to receive him.
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably wondering what the second thing was that I said to make Benjamin fall in love with me. It was this:
I said, “You know, I’ve been working so hard on myself for the past eight years. I’m done working hard. All I want to do is find an amazing partner and have fun.”
Benjamin later told me that was the most beautiful thing any woman has ever said to him. And it was exactly what he was looking for too.
If you are done working hard and ready to get real answers that give you real results fast, let me help you.
You don’t need to spend years figuring all of this out on your own. I did it and so have hundreds of my clients.
The Guardian of Your Soul is out there. I will help you find him.
Yours in Nakedness,