Covid-19 has put a giant damper on everyone’s social life, but that does not mean you have to stop dating.
At a time when we are having to stay away from each other, sew our own face masks, and scour the earth for toilet paper, to continue your search for your soulmate, you are going to have to adapt to a new way of connecting with men.
That means hiking up those sweatpants, dusting off your profile, and downloading the video platform of your choice so you can start going on virtual dates.
Many of you will feel resistant to trying this. You don’t like how you look on camera. You don’t want anyone to see where you live. You feel strange having to sit and stare at some stranger on a screen. You come across so much better in person. You feel even stranger having to sit and stare at yourself on screen for long periods at a time.
Not only that, why FaceTime when you can say everything you need to say in a 3-word text?
You can make all the excuses in the world, but you don’t have to let Covid-19 stop you from going for your dream. You can embrace virtual dating and start to see it as an opportunity.
Start thinking of Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, and FaceTime as the Starbucks of today. Pour yourself a cup and hop online for a virtual “coffee date.”
Here’s where this gets exciting! If you aren’t just trying to fill your time and you are taking your virtual dates seriously, this is a golden opportunity to practice connecting in a new and more emotionally naked way with men. You have a chance to focus on sharing your head before you jump into bed.
I was on a call last week with my private women’s coaching group and I reflected on how we forget that, in our grandmother’s generation, almost no one had sex before marriage. Men courted women and we took time to get to know one another.
According to a Time Magazine survey, until a month ago, on average people were having sex after 3.68 dates. That’s the AVERAGE! Our modern-day hookup culture has made it far too easy to have a couple of drinks on a date, cave in to chemistry, and wind up in bed together.
Virtual dating requires you to connect through language rather than sex. Here we are with nothing to do but sit and talk to one another. Take advantage of it!
You still might be compelled to meet with someone you have connected with in person. I advise my clients not to take the risk, partly because they might catch the virus but also because there is a lot they can learn about themselves by taking advantage of this time. I tell them to slow down and practice getting men to open up and be more vulnerable with them.
I frequently hear women complain that the men they meet are all emotionally unavailable. Many men are looking for the kind of woman who make it feel safe for them to open up. Being a soft, safe space for a man to share his innermost thoughts and feelings doesn’t come naturally to many women. Men complain that we can be needy, desperate, critical, or like mothers.
Although some men are excellent verbal communicators, this is by and large women’s territory. Verbal communication is our area of expertise.
There’s an evolutionary explanation for why that is.
As early humans, men were providers and protectors. There was plenty of bonding going on, but it was mostly nonverbal. When they were hunting with other members of their tribe, they needed to focus, stay quiet, and be ready for action.
The last thing they were doing was talking about their feelings.
Women, on the other hand, were hanging out with each other, cooking, tending to the children, and talking…A LOT!
So through our evolutionary role as nurturers, we developed the gift of verbal communication. And this is our gift to men.
Virtual dating is the perfect opportunity to use this power.
Verbal communication is how we share our real selves. It’s how we share our heads and our hearts.
I believe the secret to finding true and lasting love is to learn to get emotionally naked. And that means being able to connect emotionally before you jump into bed.
I believe that a woman’s greatest desire is to have a man get emotionally naked with her. This is what most women dream of.
We want to connect deeply, safely, and emotionally with a man we are really attracted to. A man who we feel is really attracted to us. And that can open up to a physical connection, but we want a man to want to get emotionally naked with us.
And in order to do that, we have to become the kind of woman that a man would feel safe getting emotionally naked with.
Virtual dating is a perfect environment for being able to do this. It isn’t something that is going to happen on a few dates, but when you take things slow he may be able to get emotionally naked with you.
Emotional nakedness means opening up your heart in a way that takes some serious inner work for most people. It can be really difficult to do on your own.
If you’re interested in going deeper and finally getting real results, I can help.
In my 45-minute webinar I have some information that will change your life. Watch it here if you haven’t already.
If you like what you hear, let’s jump on a call and I will tell you how I can help you get off the dating treadmill and find the one. My clients find love, get married, have babies within 3 months to a year.
That could also be you!
You can also join my Facebook Group Dating Without Drama, and join the conversation.
Be well, be safe, and get yourself on that webcam. You can even keep the sweats on. He’ll never know.
I look forward to connecting with you!