If you looked back upon your love life as though it were a research study…
…and saw that repeating the same process had consistently produced undesirable results..
…you could only conclude that you need a different process.
Because you are looking at if from a scientific lens, you can throw out the conclusions “There are no good men” and “there is something deeply wrong with me.”
Done? Good. Good riddance. The conclusion is now only:
You need a different process.
I’m giving you this because it was such a huge shift for me in MY dating journey. I spent so many years failing at finding love until I eventually realized that I was making a huge mistake by not looking at my data.
Years ago, a guy asked me out at the gym. I never got asked out. This was a very big deal for me. I was excited about it, didn’t know how excited I was about him, but I was saying, “Yes,” to men and, “Yes,” to dates and opportunities.
He took me to a lovely restaurant here in Los Angeles. I wasn’t sure about him, but as the night went on, I warmed up. I was even thinking about a little good night kiss at the door when he walked me up to my apartment.
As we were climbing the steps, I was preparing myself.
When we get to the top, he looks at me and he says, “You know, whenever I go out with a woman, I’m always listening for how I can be there for her.” Then he said, “I really like your company, but you don’t need a man. You’ve got it all figured out.”
What I heard was, “If you want some kind of Malibu Barbie, some needy woman, then that’s not me. I don’t need a man. I’m not needy.”
So he went his way and I went my way. We did our lives.
I brushed it off, telling myself it was his issue.
But as I kept dating, I kept getting the same undesirable result. I knew by the way that men were responding to me that something really wasn’t working, and my mind kept going back to that date.
It finally hit me that what he was telling me was that I was not vulnerable. He told me in very clear, honest language that what he needed was to be needed. And he could see that I did not have the space for him.
He taught me that I need to open up and be receptive to men. It took me two years to hear it, but I finally did.
I began to open up and relax into being more feminine and receiving with men. I was able to look at every date as an opportunity to put my new process into practice and gather new data.
And pretty soon my conclusion was Benjamin. The study was successful.
So, here’s my question for you:
If you go back and look at your data, what does it show you?
Are there any dates that stick out in your mind for whatever reason? Is there something there that you need to look at? Things that men have said to you repeatedly? Things that you didn’t want to hear?
Now, when you look at those things knowing that “something wrong with you” and “no good men” are not an option…here’s the real question:
What changes do you need to make to your process?
Helping women make these changes rather than staying in the pain is why I live and breathe.
If you need help finding a process that actually works, book a free call with me and let’s talk.
It can take a lifetime to figure this stuff out on your own, but my clients find the real deal in 3-6 months.
So can you. Book the call.
I look forward to connecting with you!
Yours in Nakedness,