From the rejections to the dud dates to the number of dating apps, it’s not easy to be out there in the dating world today. I hear it from my clients all the time. They tell me how dating works for “others” but not for them. When I press a little harder, I often find out their dating experience has been nothing more than sporadic. For example, one client shared with me she had two dates in one month, and had been off and on dating apps over the course of a month, and then wondered why it was working for everyone else but her.
Well, I have news for you. If you’re going to commit to finding love, you’re going to have be all in. You cannot stop and start, stop and start, when it comes to dating. You have to be 100% committed to it in order for it to work for you.
You Have to Be Willing to Face the Challenges
There are plenty of reasons why you are not where you want to be in your love life. Dating is going to throw all of that stuff up. You are going to get challenged. But here’s the thing: if you stop and start every time it gets difficult, all you keep doing is set yourself up to go to square one. Every time you say, “I’m out of here, I’m done,” you don’t do yourself any favors. You have to be willing to stick this out. You’ve got to be willing to face those challenges and see them through because, guess what? It does easier. And the thing is, once your stuff comes up through dating – and it will – you learn how to navigate through it. You learn what your patterns are.
When I first started dating, I sat back and I took a good, hard look at myself and said, “Lisa, you have never really committed to 100% to almost anything you’ve done in your life.” There were very few things in my life where I had given it my all and stuck it out and not gave up on it when it got tough or when it was boring. I had a terrible habit of quitting when I didn’t get fast results.
But this time, when it came to finding the love of my life, I knew the stakes were too high. I knew if I didn’t stick through with it, I wasn’t going to get anywhere. I stood at a crossroad in my life and I realized that either I was going to commit 100% to finding love or I was going to wind up 80-years-old and single with chin hairs and a house full of dogs. I like cats, but I’m more of a dog person.
So, for the first time in my life, I made a commitment to myself that quitting wasn’t an option. Even if things weren’t going well with a date, even if I faced challenge after challenge, I got right back on that horse and kept going.
Fine, You’ve Got High Standards. But How Will You Find Him?
I hear over and over again from my female clients how picky they are. They want a man who’s exceptional, on their level, who makes a good living, who’s evolved, etc. The thing is, if you have high standards, you better be willing to go out on a lot of dates in order to find him. You are not going to find an exceptional man going on and off the dating sites because you can’t just find a good one. It doesn’t work that way. If you have high standards, then you have to be willing to stay out there until you meet him. Staying committed to your dating journey and kissing those frogs is the only way you’re going to find who you’re looking for. Otherwise, you’ll lose momentum and return to square one.
Being Committed Means It’ll Happen Faster
I know in my heart of hearts that, by staying out there, by not quitting and seeing this thing through the end, I know I made it work faster for me. I sent a message to the universe that I meant business. Because if you are spiritual and you believe that the Universe is working on your behalf to help you attract the things you really want in your life, you will get them, but you have to take action at your end and be willing to do whatever it takes to show the Universe and the powers-that-be that you are in it to win it.
See Each Challenge As a Gift
You can’t stop dating every time it gets hard. You have to see the challenges as gifts. Every time you get challenged, know that there’s something else you need to learn and the lesson is always ‘How can I open my heart a little wider? How can I be kinder and more compassionate? Both to myself and to the men out there?’ If a man ghosts you, it’s not just because he’s a jerk. Maybe he’s scared. Maybe he’s afraid of disappointing you. Maybe he just doesn’t have the words to let you know that you’re not a match. When a challenge comes up, face it, get through it, get to the other side, and be thankful for it.
As you do this more and more, your love life will start to gain momentum and you will get there. You will find the love of your life faster because you’re sending a message to the Universe and the powers-that-be that you mean business. That you are 100% committed to this journey of finding love no matter what life throws at you because you can handle it. Because it’s all a gift.
Then, before you know it, one day, you will be sitting across from the guardian of your soul.