If you have any intention of dating during the pandemic, you need to be dating online.
Right now, it is the only way to meet someone.
Many of you are feeling resistant to online dating, but believe me when I say that this situation isn’t nearly as bad as it seems.
As a busy professional woman, you finally have the time to date.
And because we are being cautious about who we meet, men are much more open to having phone conversations and video chats than ever before.
This is wonderful because you don’t have to waste hours getting dressed up and going out to meet them. You can screen them from the comfort of your own home.
It would be easy right now to feel sorry for yourself and talk yourself out of dating. Please don’t do that! Seize this opportunity to date in a new way.
Over the past nine months, I have encouraged my clients to create lovely connections with men over FaceTime and Zoom. A surprising number of those women are now in relationships with these men.
And here’s the spectacular news: just as many of my clients have found relationships during COVID as they did before COVID.
Not only did they refuse to let COVID stop them from going for their dream, but they also used this new way of dating to their advantage and found true love.
With this in mind, I thought I would share three of my favorite online dating hacks to help you stay positive and proactive during the pandemic while searching for your man.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
You and I both know that nothing can stir us up like dating online. We get annoyed because we either get way too many messages or not enough. Men ask for our phone numbers and never call. Or, they text morning, noon, and night like they’re our new best friend and we haven’t even met them. They also start dropping sexual innuendos right away to find out how easy we are.
You might have heard people say, “Don’t take it personally,” but when it comes to dating, this can feel impossible to do. That’s why it’s such a great way to learn how to do it.
Online dating will bring your insecurities to the surface where you can see them and take responsibility for them. The more you can make peace with your own shortcomings, the less reactive you will feel.
The way to apply not taking anything personally to dating is by watching how you make other people’s actions mean something about you.
Let’s say a man you really like suddenly stops texting you. Watch your reaction. Do you take it personally, blame yourself for why he stopped, and feel bad? Or, do you not take it personally, tell yourself it wasn’t a match, and let it go?
Not taking anything personally is central to creating a peaceful and harmonious relationship both with yourself and a partner. If you want a deeper understanding of how this works, read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It will change your life!
Take the Feminine Lead
Bumble made it acceptable for women to make the first move. Still, many dating experts say that you must lean back and wait for men to chase you.
I am from a different camp. I would be insulted if some 35-year-old dating coach told me to ‘lean back’ and wait for a man to chase me. Sorry but that ain’t gonna happen. Not with me…and I don’t think you should do that either.
I am much more aligned with Warren Farrell who wrote an outdated but highly illuminating book called Why Men Are the Way They Are. If you don’t want to wade through the book, there is a wonderful 2-hour interview with the author that is only available on Audible.com.
In his book, Farrell says that women who approach men will get rejected in the same way men who approach women get rejected. BUT because they are not just choosing from the men who approach them, they will be much more likely to connect with the kind of man they really want.
Online dating and dating apps make it easy for you to take what I call The Feminine Lead. If you really think about it, both men and women take the lead in a relationship. They just do it in different ways. Men tend to be more direct: “I’ll pick you up for dinner at 7:00 pm.” Women tend to be more inviting and suggestive: “I would love it if you could pick me up at 7:00 pm.” Or, “Would you be able to pick me up at 7:00?” It’s really that simple.
When making the first move online, I advise my clients to say something short and playful to catch a man’s attention. A simple, “What’s a guy like you doing on a site like this ;-)” Or, “What’s a girl gotta do to get a date with you ;-)”
Unless you are going to write something extremely original and playful about what he’s written, don’t make the mistake of referencing something from his profile. Although many other coaches advise doing this, it’s boring and it won’t stand out like my previous suggestions.
Once you’ve taken The Feminine Lead, sit back, and see what happens. The one thing you don’t want to do is to reach out again if he doesn’t respond.
Date Several Men at Once
A lot of women have resistance to dating more than one man at a time, but I promise you it is one of the smartest things you can do. In the past, most of us couldn’t date multiple people because we were only being asked out on so many dates. With online dating, you have way more choices.
Think about how many times you’ve invested weeks, months, or years getting to know each guy, only to have it go nowhere. If you spend 6 weeks with one guy, 4 months with another, and a year and a half with someone else, that adds up to nearly two and a half years. If you had been dating several men at once, it would have been different.
You would have been able to compare all of these men to each other and see that some of them weren’t worth your time and trouble. If you get anxious when you start liking a man, it would help with your anxiety. Let’s say one man wasn’t contacting you, you would still have dates planned with the others. You could also sit back and see who is really showing up for you.
If you are looking for a loving, lasting relationship—and especially if you want children—the one thing you don’t have is time to waste. At the end of my 12-week course, my clients tell me that one of the best things they did was to date multiple men.
Even if you aren’t willing to meet men in person right now, you can practice these three dating hacks during the pandemic. When you focus on making improvements in the way you date, dating becomes more exciting and rewarding and you will become even more attractive to men. The more attractive you become, the more choices you have until, one day very soon, you will be on a Zoom call and realize that you’ve met The Guardian of Your Soul.
If you want to know more about my work, please watch my free 45-minute presentation. Many women have told me it’s the best one they’ve ever seen. If you like what you hear, we’d love to jump on a Breakthrough Call so we can show you how to find true love NOW!