GITRMM ep 41: Boundaries Vs Rules

GITRMM ep 41: Boundaries Vs Rules

Do you know the difference between a rule and a boundary? It’s tricky. That’s why Lisa and Benjamin want to clear things up for you! We’ve all heard that you have to set rules for men and make them jump through hoops, but that will only lead to confusion and hurt feelings. So if you finally want to know how to stop setting unattainable dating rules, and instead, present boundaries in a healthy way that gives someone the option to respect it, and you the option to base your decision around that… then listen to this episode to find out how stating a boundary in a loving, meaningful way is more of a request than a demand. You’ve got this!

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

  • Rules are somewhat arbitrary and they often come from our head, rather than our soul. 
  • Rules can be separating and repel people. They can be black and white, while a boundary is about communicating what matters to you in a way that gives someone the choice to respect it.
  • Lisa gives an example of how Benjamin asked Lisa (nicely!) if she could change her tone, and how that was an example of him setting his own boundary. 
  • Lisa and Benjamin give some real world examples of rules that almost resulted in missed connections and confusion to both the man and the woman.
  • The “rules” and all these strategies and games for dating may work to get a date, or even a ring, but they aren’t building toward a solid foundation because they aren’t based on emotional nakedness, trust, or vulnerability. 
  • Being the Guardian of someone’s Soul isn’t about following rules. It’s about seeing the path that the soul needs to go on, and supporting it in every way possible. 

Continue On Your Journey

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Dating Rules 

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  • “It’s about finding that middle ground. It’s about being able to say, ‘look, this is what works for me. This is what my truth is, and can you meet me there’?” – Lisa
  • “Rules are somewhat arbitrary, and they often come not from our soul, but from our head.” – Benjamin
  • “Rules are about control where boundaries are about emotional vulnerability.” – Benjamin
  • “Anytime you are setting a boundary, it’s about making a request and inviting and saying to a man ‘Could you? Would you? I would love to know your thoughts.’ It’s not one person dictating how it is.” – Lisa