GITRMM ep 13: You’re Talking, But What is He Hearing?

GITRMM ep 13: You’re Talking, But What is He Hearing?

Your five hour long date was MAGICAL. You poured your heart out and he gave you all the right answers to all your usual questions… check, check, and check! You nailed this! Okay then. So where did he go? Yes, he may have flaked on you or maybe he was abducted by aliens, or… is there a chance he picked up on some things during your date that turned him off? This week, Benjamin and Lisa talk about the subtle things we say or do that cause him to pull away. They discuss ways to deeply connect with a man and make him feel special without oversharing, lecturing, or getting too off topic. Use these tips on your next date, and your man will feel seen, special, and understood!

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

  • Women’s goal is to connect emotionally, but what do we typically do that ends up getting us the opposite results? 
  • What makes a man feel like he is being interviewed?
  • How do we accidentally shame a man, and what are ways we can keep it playful and lighthearted instead? 
  • What does a man really think when we go off topic, monologue, or lecture? 
  • Instead of focusing on being “on”, focus on creating a safe space for him to unwind and really be himself. 
  • Why you should embrace the moments of silence on a date, not panic and try to fill space. 
  • Dating should not feel like you are seeing a therapist. 
  • If a man is interrupted enough times, he just begins to shut down. Are you cutting him off without knowing?  

Continue On Your Journey

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Dave Barry  

Course in Miracles


  • “When a woman goes too much off-topic, the man begins his own internal dialogue.” – Benjamin
  • “What the man is looking for is a way to relate to a woman in a way that he can’t relate to other men.” – Benjamin
  • “Women should ask, am I really creating a safe space for a man to open up to me?” – Lisa
  • “Two people that aren’t present, it’s almost like two holograms rather than two people becoming fulfilled.” – Lisa 
  • “Both people feel they need to be “on” and it can lead to things that aren’t a real conversation.” – Lisa