GITRMM 48: Uh oh! Are You The Back Up Girl?

GITRMM 48: Uh oh! Are You The Back Up Girl?

If your relationship is not progressing the way you want it to, one reason why could be that you’re “the back up girl”. Eeek! Yes. A man may only be giving about 10% of his capacity and treating you like an option, not the choice. Worse yet, did you know that by sticking around, you are confirming to him that you’re fine with it? But what does it mean to be someone’s “back up girl”, and how do you state what you need in a way that honors your gut instincts and leaves you with more confidence, no matter what he does next? This week, Lisa and Benjamin talk about what it looks like to be someone’s back up girl and how to recognize a relationship that is headed nowhere fast!

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

  • What does it look like to be someone’s back up girl? 
  • But if I bring up what I need, won’t that make me sound desperate or pushy? 
  • How staying as someone’s option is a sign of low self-esteem. 
  • Do men actually know what’s happening when they put a woman on the backburner? 
  • Sometimes women confuse drama with love.
  • Why you should never go beyond six months before saying what you want.
  • How to spot the signs of a non-committal relationship.
  • How to listen to your gut instinct and speak up for what you’re really seeking in a relationship.
  • Signs that a man is not integrating you into his life.
  • The importance of getting Emotionally Naked, seeing if someone can meet you there, and how Lisa and Benjamin can help you.

Continue On Your Journey

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Mr. Unavailable and The Fallback Girl 



  • “There is a feeling that a woman gets when she feels safe and secure in a relationship and when she feels that a man has both feet in.” – Lisa
  • “You really do want to make sure that you get out of these relationships and start learning how to do this intelligently so that you don’t waste time.” – Lisa 
  • “I had to find self esteem and be willing to walk away from those relationships to find the guardian of my soul.”  – Lisa 
  • “Sometimes drama gets confused with love.” – Benjamin