Tagged ‘Valentine’s Day‘

Valentine’s Day Love Letter From my Husband

A Love Letter from My Husband

I wanted to share my Valentine’s Day card from my sweet husband.  To all of you who are married, cherish the love you have.  To those who are looking for love, keep opening your heart and love will find you.

My Dearest Mink,

This is the tenth Valentine’s Day that

we’ve shared together.  These years

have been the best of my life.

My only regret is that they’ve gone by

so quickly.

We chose to go on this lifelong journey

together.  I look forward to each day

and each adventure.

I promised to cherish you, protect you,

and to be the guardian of your soul.

I have and I will.

My love always,


I wish you and all love-filled Valentine’s Day.


My Boyfriend Didn’t Give Me a Valentine

Dear Lisa,
My boyfriend and I met online about 6 months ago.  He’s a great guy.  In fact, everything has been going really well.   He even mentioned that we should move in together when the time is right, so I know he wants to build a relationship with me.  But then, on Valentine’s Day, I felt like we slammed into a wall going 350 miles an hour.  Lisa, he didn’t get me anything—no flowers, no gift, not even a card!  To make matters worse, a couple of the girls at work made comments like, “Aren’t you dating someone?”  And, “Where are your flowers?”  I felt so humiliated.  The thing is that we had gone to Tahoe the weekend before to “celebrate Valentine’s Day,” but we split everything, so it didn’t feel like much of a celebration to me.   Besides, I had told I had gotten him a gift and that I was excited to give it to him, so he must have known I was expecting him to get me something.  I don’t know if I can get over this.   What do I do?

Hi Amelia,

I get why you are so disappointed.  Most women want to feel like a princess on Valentine’s Day.  Still, you cannot let one event define an entire relationship.  You have had six wonderful months with this man and you need to take that into account.   You also need to remember that everyone makes mistakes.  One day you are going to make a mistake.  You can count on it.  How you handle this situation will set a precedent for your entire relationship.  You can choose to approach things like an adult.  This would mean telling him how you felt, letting him know what you would like from him going forward, and then letting it go.  Or, you can hold a grudge and let it eat away at you.  The choice is yours.

With love,



On Turning 50, Asking for What you Want, and Getting It

IMG_0546_3When my husband and I fell in love and realized that we would spend the rest of our lives together, I had only one request.  “I don’t need gifts on any other day.”  I told him.  “I truly don’t care if you send flowers on Valentine’s Day or if you forget our anniversary.  No matter what happens, I’ll be fine.” I meant every word of it.   “The only day I need you to be there for me, the only day I need to know that I won’t be alone and that I will be taken care of from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep, is on my birthday.”

Throughout my childhood, my mother had yelled at me and put me down.  On my birthdays her treatment seemed especially cruel.  Each year I would find myself sobbing alone in my room, thinking, “Isn’t there one day that could be mine, one day where she would think about someone besides herself?”

“I can do that,” my husband said, sweetly.  And he has.  For the past 8 years, from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep, my husband treats me like a queen on my birthday.  What’s even sweeter is that he starts months ahead of time planning the day.  I think he gets more excited about it than I do.  He loves knowing how happy he’s making me.

In the past, I probably hinted that I dreaded my birthdays, hoping my partners would do something special for me.  It never occurred that I could just ask them to plan something, that it would be this simple.  It also never occurred to me that they might actually enjoy being there for me.

I am sure that, right about now, some of you are thinking, “But if asked, my guy would mess it up and I’d be even more disappointed.”  I get that.  Just because you ask, doesn’t mean someone will still do something that will make you happy.  But, the truth is that it doesn’t matter what he does, what matters is that he tries.  And if you want him to try, you have to make them feel good about his choices.

I genuinely don’t care what my husband and I do on my birthday.  It doesn’t have to be original or extravagant.  The point is that we are together.  One year he forgot and agreed to teach a class abroad on the weekend of my birthday.  Just the fact that he felt terrible was enough for me.  We celebrated early and laughed about it.

In a few days I will turn 50.  My mom died of breast cancer when she was 39 and I was 15.  Looking back, I never thought I would live to 50 or that I would look forward to my birthdays.  And I certainly never thought I would have met an angel on, let alone married him.  All I can say is that good things come to those who learn to date naked.

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