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WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE STOPS EMAILING

WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE STOPS EMAILING

A big issue with online dating is that people often stop communicating abruptly and for no apparent reason.  Most of my clients just figure that the other person lost interest or that they must of done something to turn the other person off, and they give up.  As hard as it is not to take this stuff personally, you can’t let it get to you.  People stop writing for all kinds of reasons, none of them having to do with you.  Maybe they lost a job, are dealing with family issues, or just got bored .  Let’s be real.  Most of us don’t finish everything we start, especially when it comes to online dating.  When pressed, the same clients who complain about how other people dropped the ball on them admit that they have emails in their inbox that they haven’t answered.

So, let’s say that you started communicating with you were really excited about, and he or she stopped writing.  What can you do.  You can blow them off and just move on which is what a lot of people do, or you can say something.  If you felt like there was potential why wouldn’t you give it a try?  I wouldn’t suggest sending a second email, but one is worth a try.  The thing is that I want  you to stop playing it so safe and take some risks.  The fun in dating is being able to play and not be perfect all the time.  What better place to practice than in emails.  You have nothing to lost on a dating site with someone you’ve never met.  So get online, go through your inbox, and start emailing all those hot men and women who fell by the wayside.

Here are two examples of email threads from clients.  Hope they give you some inspiration.  They worked because they are provocative and playful.  That kind of energy is irresistable!

WonderWoman:

Since I haven’t heard from you, I thought you might have gotten kidnapped by pygmies and might need some help planning your escape.

SuperDude:

Hey!  I was just thinking about you last week, while bound and gagged!  How are you?  Can I give you a call on Monday?

WonderWoman:

LOL!  Just the way I like my men!  😉 You can reach me after 9pm.  I want to hear the whole story!

BeachGirl97
Hi, in case you hit your head and have temporary amnesia, I thought I would remind you of the cute, funny girl you were messaging…that would be ME!
rockclimberla
OMG, I did have amnesia.  Thanks for reminding me.  Can you ever forgive me?
BeachGirl97
If you take me to a nice dinner or buy me gifts, I am sure I can forgive anything.  But you have to hurry up and ask me out.  This email has an expiration date and will self-destruct within one week.  :-)

PLEASE post your comments below! And if you would like to set up a free sample session click this button to be directed to my online calendar:

 

 

 

Playful Internet Dating Banter

Playful Internet Dating Banter

Here are a couple of very funny email interactions from my best friend, Chloe, to two different men she was communicating with online. (If you haven’t read it already, I suggest reading her very funny profile in my posting from June 27th before proceeding.) Notice that her emails are mostly one-liners, she doesn’t pull any punches, and she isn’t afraid to get into a little sexual innuendo. Chloe is the ultimate Naked Dater! Hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

CACowboy2013 Profile (this is all he wrote):

I’m a very honest and upfront person. I am very outgoing, and I enjoy the outdoors. I work hard and I like to play hard. I like making people laugh and I’m very close with my family, and spoil my niece rotten…

Email interaction:

CACowboy:  We seem to have some things in common. Let me know if I pas the eye test…

beautifulparty:  You pass :-) What next?

CACowboy: Well, we can do the e-mail thing (not very personal) or we can chat on the phone, or if you are really daring we can go crazy and meet at Starbucks…

beautifulparty:  I pick Starbucks, what area do you live in?

CACowboy:  Woodland Hills.  We can meet in the middle.

beautifulparty:  Really? You don’t’ think I am worth a drive to Studio City 😉

CACowboy: Thought I was N. Hollywood. For sure you are worth it. What’s ur schedule tomorrow afternoon around 2:30?

 dannyboy4 Profile (excerpt):

I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray… I’m fun as heck to be around. I have a nose. I love gourmet food and skydiving, but not at the same time. I enjoy pretending to be sick and sneezing on people in public. Sometimes I’ll stay home and watch TV or read, other times I’ll go to a club and shake my “money maker” until 5am then go to a diner for flapjacks.(I love to call ’em flapjacks)It just depends on what phase of the moon we’re in. I know you can picture yourself having a blast with me. …

Email Interaction:

dannyboy4:  You were born in the nude, too? Let me find out if you have a nose and we’re off to Santorini!

beautifulparty:  Did you look at my pictures? What more proof do you need that I have a nose because I want my trip to Santorini!

dannyboy4:  Lots of ladies in LA get silicone noses. I know a doc who does them very real.

beautifulparty:  My nose IS the real deal; I might even let you touch it.

dannyboy4:  I give great nose.

beautifulparty: I’ll be the judge of that :-)

PLEASE post your comments below!  And if you would like to set up a free sample session click this button to be directed to my online calendar:

SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY!

How to Hook ‘Em With That First Email

HOW TO HOOK ‘EM WITH THAT FIRST EMAIL

Internet dating: isn’t it fun?  It can be if know how to have fun with it.  Don’t just  sit back and wait for people to contact you.  If you are male or female (especially if you’re female) reach out and contact the people you find attractive.  It’s a whole different world of dating today. What I tell my clients is to think of Internet dating like a huge single’s party.  Let’s say you were looking around the room and someone caught your eye.  You could never be sure who noticed whom first.  Maybe the other person had been checking you out seconds earlier.  The thing is to hook that other person’s attention and create a spark so they he or she will want to talk to you.  It’s the same with the Internet.  All you want to do is get the other person’s attention and make them want to know more.

Let’s take a look at a couple of examples of introductory emails that my best friend and I sent to some promising candidates that got immediate responses.

Hello Aussie Guy,

How’d you wind up in good old LA? You are absolutely adorable.  I see that you like “all things about being a man.”  I love all things about you being a man, too. And I can be quite a woman under the right circumstances. I also like what you said about helping each reach greater potential together. Although I have already reached my greatest potential at the ripe old age of 34, I can always help you get there ;-). No really, life is great at this end and would be even better shared with the right someone.

Would love to hear from you if you think we’re a match!

Chloe*

*(Name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent)

 

Hi Guy Without Headline,

You are so cute, but not too cute!  (That’s a compliment.)  I am not a fashionista, so if that’s what you’re looking for, keep going!  But I have all the other things on your list.  I understand that you love art and architecture.  I grew up around the stuff but don’t know who’s who.  I would love for you to teach me more.  I am always open to learning and love an intelligent man who expand my world.  Is that you?

Chloe

Why were her emails so effective?  Because she knows how to “hook” a man’s attention.  Let’s see how:

Hook #1:  Create Sparks:  Chloe creates a kind of playful tension right from the very start.  “Hey Aussie Guy!”  Her first line is bold and provocative.  She says things a lot of people would think but not say, like the line about having already reached her potential at the age of 34.  There is something intriguing about a person who would do that.  People love people who challenge them.

Hook #2:  Flatter them:  She shows that she read their profiles.  She relates to what they said but not in an “Oh Look We Both Like to Hike” kind of way.  Again, she makes it funny, confident, and provocative.   “I’m not a fashionista, so if that’s what you’re looking for, keep going!”

Hook #3:  Give ’em What They Want:  She purposely tells men what they want to hear.  “I love a guy who can teach me more.  Is that you?”  She really means it, but she also knows that this is a hook.

Hook #4:  Sexual Overtone:  She says things like “I like all things about you being a man, too.  And I can be quite a woman under the right circumstances.”  If this guy is a healthy, hot-blooded male, he’s thinking she means sex.

If all your emails say is, “I liked your profile and think we have some things in common,” and you’re not getting responses, try to plant some hooks like the ones above.  Remember, you are looking for romance, not friendship.  Practice creating that playful, seductive spark.  If you are the kind of person who “is only playful after you get to know someone,” get over yourself.  The Internet is the best place in the world to practice getting out of your shell.  If you really can’t loosen up, have a glass of wine or get a fun friend to sit with you and write emails.  Keep throwing mud at the wall to see what sticks.

When I was a kid vacationing in Mexico with my family, my older brother once said, “Lisa, you are so intense.  I don’t know how any man is going to deal with you.”  Today my husband tells me that I am the most playful person he knows.  I didn’t just happen to meet the right guy.  I became a playful person and then I attracted the right guy to me.  It’s time to take risks, have some fun, and get naked!

 

She creates a lot of the sparks.  She is sparky.  She’s not waiting for someone else to light things up.

One of the Funniest and Most Forthright Profiles Ever!

One of the Funniest and Most Forthright Dating Profiles Ever!

My best friend and I wrote the following profile for her a couple of weeks ago.  I am reprinting it here with her permission.  She is getting some of the best responses I have ever seen from an online dating profile.  Men seem to LOVE her honesty, playfulness and humor.  This is Naked Dating at its finest!

Headline

 

The Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

 

About Me

     I was born nude, helpless, and unable to provide for myself. Not much has changed. Not really, but I thought it would be fun to say that. I’m smart, loyal, and dyslexic, not necessarily in that order. I am also a bad spellr. I’m mischievous. I like to get into trouble, but not the kind you can’t get out of. I’ve never gone to jail. I sound like a real catch so far, huh? Let’s keep going. I really don’t like to take things seriously, unless the situation calls for it. Otherwise, I love to joke, make fun of people, or be made fun of. I prefer to look at the humurous side of things, otherwise life is sooooooo boring. I love to find out about people and get to know who they are at their core. I have an appreciation for everyone’s uniqueness and like to bring that out. I am not very judgmental, so people feel comfortable revealing themselves to me. I like to make other people feel special, even if they’re not. If I keep going like this, I’m never going to get a date. But, on the other hand, if you don’t find this funny, we’re probably not a match. Which leads me to how gorgeous and humble I am–two of my finer qualities for sure. I am not your stereotypical “model” type or what you’ll find in most of the clubs here in LA. I’m not hard on the eyes, but I am more Marilyn Monroe than Audrey Hepburn. If you meet me and think I would be pretty if I lost 10 pounds, keep walking. I have two cats, so if you don’t like animals, that won’t work either. 

     Being in nature, especially the mountains, calms me. I like being in nature, but I do not like sleeping in nature. I love to hike and would like to find someone who will motivate me to hike more. I also would love to find someone who likes to lounge around. I love music but don’t like going to concerts. I never know who sang what song. I will always lose at that game, but I love to be around someone who knows these things. Food: need I say more? I own a small business and love what I do, but if I won the lottery tomorrow I’d find better ways to use my time. I am very accepting. I would like to be with someone who accepts me the way I am and who I can accept the way he is. It would be nice to meet a guy who actually took the time to read my profile, not that I’m going to read yours. 😉 I am not very materialistic. I much prefer thoughtfulness and experiences. If you gave me a credit card today, I would not go shopping. I would just buy my family some stuff, and probably get you some stuff, too. I like to think that what I bring to a relationship is that I am a deeply caring and generous person and I will do anything for the people I love.

      For me, the key thing in a relationship is trust, honesty, and open communication. I will want what’s best for you, and I would love it if you want what’s best for me. I believe that, if we have safety and trust in a relationship, then the world is our playground. Two people can have the freedom to do just about anything if they know that they’re there for each other. 

First Date

     You pick up me in your private jet and wisk me off to Santorini. We frolic on the beach and kiss in the moonlight. We feed each souvlaki and baklava with our fingers (which I don’t particularly like, but everything with you tastes better). Or, we can just meet at the corner Coffee Bean and take it from there.

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