Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Hi Lisa. I am happily married to an incredible woman. Recently, several women from my past decided to walk back into my life after 20 years. How do I get them to back off before they jeopardize my marriage? The ring and paper don’t seem to be enough, and they don’t seem to be respecting traditional boundaries.

-Will

 

Hi Will,

Thanks for reaching out! The single most important person in your life should be your wife, and you need to do everything you can to protect the sacred bond the two of you share. You say these women “walked back into your life,” but I don’t think they just walked in. You had to have let them in. My guess is that you haven’t been clear enough with these women or that you are still trying to be nice and polite so you don’t hurt their feelings. I see this a lot with my male clients. The problem is, if you don’t take care of this, someone else is going to get hurt… and that someone is probably going to be your incredible wife. If these women aren’t respecting your boundaries, I would dispense with any niceties and tell them—in no uncertain terms—that you are flattered they are thinking of you, but that you are happily married and won’t respond to any further attempts on their part to contact you. Hope that helps!

Warmly,

Lisa

Is someone threatening your relationship? Book a consultation with me and see how I can help!

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

 

4 Comments

  • lisa on Apr 18, 2016

    Heather, are there children involved? If not, he could get a restraining order and change his phone numbers. He also needs to stop responding to any attempts on her part to contact her. There is no reasoning with a crazy person. The best message is radio silence or to keep sending the same message over and over until she gets it. Every time she contacts him, he would give the same response: “Leave me alone.” “Stop contacting me.” Or, “Go away.” He needs to use simple, strong language and the message must always be the same.

  • Heather on Apr 18, 2016

    My new boyfriend had an extremely persistent and crazy…seriously crazy ex who refuses to let him go. Hundreds of emails via linked in, FB, twitter, etc, etc, she calls, begs, pleads with him despite his demands to leave us alone. We’re going to get married but she will not back off. What now?

  • lisa on Apr 17, 2016

    Darleen! I couldn’t agree more. So many of my clients have a hard time leaving things in the past and they hurt the people they’re with now by trying to be nice. Even if someone gets angry when you tell them to leave you alone, they’ll get over it.

  • Darleen on Apr 17, 2016

    I told my ex husband, when he decided to try being my friend after a few years and start by telling happy birthday, thank you for the birthday wish, however you are a thing of my past and I’m happily remarried moving forward, please don’t contact me.
    It made him extremely angry. But I was direct and to the point. I have no intention of being his friend and it’s ok. He hasn’t contacted me since. I’m happy

Leave Reply

Blogarama - The Blog Directory