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Why Being Happy Is The Best Gift You Can Give Your Partner

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You have to be happy with yourself before you can ever be happy with someone else.

When Pharell’s song “Happy” comes on the radio, he wants us all to clap along and feel happy, too. Granted, the tune is catchy, but have you ever listened to the lyrics? “Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof?”  Wow. That’s deep. He also posits “happiness is The Truth.” I wish it were that simple. While happiness has become a big buzzword in psychological circles, what happiness actually looks and feels like in modern society is still not clear. Are our romanticrelationships an accurate barometer for our happiness? If we look at our nation’s divorce rate, it becomes abundantly clear that not everyone is as happy as Pharell would like us to think.

So why does that blissful, perfect, fairy tale happiness we all seek feel like some hollow promise and cheesy pop song cliche? Probably because it doesn’t exist — at least not in the way modern media would lead us to believe. Most people search for someone to love, thinking this will make them happy and solve all of their problems. But the truth is, nobody else can make you happy (or fix you); you have to do it yourself.

Read more on YourTango!

How To Be Sexy Without Having Sex

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Men are very attracted to feminine women who are comfortable with their sexuality and know how to express it. This doesn’t mean that you need to be overtly sexual or have sex on the first date. It does mean that you will take a risk and steer the conversation into sexy territory now and then. Most women don’t know how to embrace their sexual power, and probably very few are comfortable with it. We’re afraid that if we open that door too soon, it might lead us to have sex right away and sabotage the relationship. Unfortunately, if you keep holding back, there’s a good chance that nothing will happen, no spark, no chemistry — nothing! A lot of women want to sit back and leave everything up to a man, but I can assure you that smart, sexy, confident women are not afraid to create a spark or fan the flame. You need to take a risk or you will continue to feel increasingly hopeless after every date.

 

I get how hard it is to be sexy without it leading to sex. In my own experience, after going on far too many dead end dates, I realized that the reason I hated dating so much was that I was extremely uncomfortable around men. The only thing I was sure they wanted from me was sex. So, I did one of two things: either I shut down and pulled away or I wound up going to bed with them. This took all the fun out of dating. I was afraid to flirt and be playful because I didn’t trust myself not to sleep with my dates. I knew that I needed to learn how to feel sexy and express my sexuality without having sex.

 

I discovered that there were many ways to express my sexuality. Here are some suggestions:

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lisa-shield/be-sexy-without-having-sex#ixzz37fa9zYAv

“A Slice of Pi”

You’re stranded on a raft in the middle of your life waiting for someone to come along and save you.

Do you ever feel like you’re stranded on a raft in the middle of your life waiting for someone to come along and save you?  Don’t worry.  You’re not alone.  Ok.  Maybe you are alone on your raft, but there are lots of other people floating around on rafts waiting to be rescued just like you.  Take that kid in “The Life of Pi.”  He was floating around out there for over 220 days.  That must have been horrible, but it made a good movie and even better book.  Check it out.

Pi was out there on that raft, but he wasn’t alone, and neither are you.  He was fighting off his demons.  His demons took the form of a Bengal tiger.  What form have your demons taken—are they in the shape of your high school sweetheart who cheated on you, your father who abandoned you when you were three, or your mother who was an emotionally unavailable alcoholic?  If you look closely, you will find them all there on the raft with you.  See.  You’re not alone.

The thing is that no one rescued Pi and no one is going to rescue you. People might want to rescue you.  They might even try, but they can’t.  They can’t save you because no one knows what you need but you. Read More

Make the first step to finding the one, schedule an appointment with Dating & Relationship Expert, Lisa Shield.  pricing & scheduling

Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC
Transformational Dating and Relationship Coach
(323) 939-1770
www.LisaShield.com

“Nothing less than a hero” Lana Wachowski receives the HRC Visibility Award

The people who inspire us most are those who dare to be themselves against all odds.  Lana Wachowski, director of The Matrix and Cloud Atlas, is just such a person.  She a true inspiration—talented, beautiful, intelligent, original, and deeply private.  Please take the time to watch this extraordinary woman share her journey and then as yourself, “How far am I willing to go to get emotionally naked and be all of who I am?”

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