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The Most Attractive Quality a Woman Can Have

 

The Most Attractive Quality a Woman Can HaveThe Most Attractive Quality a Woman Can Have

Do know what is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

 

It’s not independence, sensuality, or even self-love–but it includes all of those things. The most attractive quality a woman can have is CONFIDENCE because a confident woman owns who she is and she knows she can attract the man she desires and deserves.

People will tell you that the reason you don’t have the love you want is because your expectations are too high. They say you’re asking for too much. This is simply isn’t true. The real reason you don’t have the relationship you want is because you haven’t had the confidence to ask for it.

True love is REAL and You can have it. All you have to do is:

Ask clearly for what you want…

Be willing to compromise when you can…

Speak your truth even if it means someone won’t like you…

Walk away when you know that someone isn’t right for you…

And continue to love yourself even in the face of rejection.

But how can you possibly open your heart and trust again when you’ve been lied to, abused, or cheated on before?

To have the love you deserve, you need confidence. You need to love and value yourself enough to have the courage to go for your heart’s desire.

But how do you get the confidence to do that… especially in the crazy-making dating world of today?

To answer this question, my friend and fellow relationship coach, Jeannine Addonisio, has invited me along with 25 other experts to be part of an awesome online interview series called The Confident Woman! 

This event is dedicated to helping YOU get your confidence on, rock out dating and attract a man who cherishes, desires and adores you! To sign up for this inspiring interview airing Sunday, November 13th, 2016, click here: http://jeannineaddonisio.com/theconfidentwoman/lisashield

Don’t miss my interview if you want to hear how I found the confidence to become one of the pioneers of online dating and go on 100 first dates before finding the love of my life.

Ladies, sixteen years ago, when I posted an online dating profile, there were no friends, dating experts or advice columns to cheer me on and tell me what to do. I walked through this uncharted territory—alone!

Check out my talk to find out how to stop buying into other people’s limiting beliefs about how bizarre it is to look for your soul mate on a computer screen or how you’re searching for a needle in a haystack because you want too much. These ideas are negative and they’re absolutely untrue.

Tune in to discover how getting Emotionally Naked and embracing the challenges of dating–both on and offline—can transform you into a confident, compassionate, compelling woman! When you do this, something truly remarkable happens: You will meet the man of your dreams, and HE will fall in love with YOU!

And this time you’ll be ready. This time you’ll have the confidence to open your heart and receive all the love this amazing man has to offer.

So, join Jeannine Addonisio and me to hear us talk about how to become your most confident self so you can find the love of your life and say goodbye to dating forever… Can I get an Amen to that? Click here to join this FREE Online Event and Gift Giveaway: http://jeannineaddonisio.com/theconfidentwoman/lisashield

You don’t want to miss this opportunity to hear the secrets of how to use dating as the catalyst for gaining genuine confidence and attracting the man of your dreams!

This interview is big… it’s powerful… it will change your life!

As always, I want to thank you for all of your love and support!  And if you haven’t joined my Facebook Group, Dating Without Drama, the definitive dating group where both women AND men share their struggles about how to date and relate while searching for their perfect mate, click here to join:  http://bit.ly/2esIwea

Xx,

The Confident Woman Interview Series

The REAL Reason You Haven’t Found Your Soul Mate…

 and NO, It Isn’t Self-Love

The REAL Reason You Haven't Found Your Soul Mate...

 

Hi Everybody!

Do you long to meet your soul mate with every cell in your being?

Do you dream of finding one, beautiful man who will love and cherish you forever?

Even if you’ve never had it, something deep inside you knows true love exists. You can feel it. You can feel your soul aching for your other half, for one man who thrills you and who is yours and yours alone.

I know other people will tell you’re asking for too much, but you’re not. True love is real and YOU can have it! All you have to do is have the courage to…

Ask clearly for what you want…

Be willing to compromise when you can…

Speak your truth even if it means someone won’t like you…

Walk away when you know that someone isn’t right for you…

And continue to love yourself even in the face of rejection.

But how can you possibly open your heart and trust again when you’ve been lied to, abused, or cheated on before?

To have the love you deserve, you need to possess one important quality: CONFIDENCE. You need to love and value yourself enough to have the courage to go for your heart’s desire.

But how do you get the confidence to do that… especially in the crazy-making dating world of today?

To answer this question, my friend and fellow relationship coach, Jeannine Addonisio, has invited me along with 25 other experts to be part of an awesome online interview series called The Confident Woman! 

This event is dedicated to helping YOU get your confidence on, rock out dating and attract a man who cherishes, desires and adores you! To sign up for this inspiring interview airing Sunday, November 13th, 2016, click here: http://jeannineaddonisio.com/theconfidentwoman/lisashield

Don’t miss my interview if you want to hear how I found the confidence to become one of the pioneers of online dating and go on 100 first dates before finding the love of my life.

Ladies, sixteen years ago, when I posted an online dating profile, there were no friends, dating experts or advice columns to cheer me on and tell me what to do. I walked through this uncharted territory—alone!

Check out my talk to find out how to stop buying into other people’s limiting beliefs about how bizarre it is to look for your soul mate on a computer screen or how you’re searching for a needle in a haystack because you want too much. These ideas are negative and they’re absolutely untrue.

Tune in to discover how getting Emotionally Naked and embracing the challenges of dating–both on and offline—can transform you into a confident, compassionate, compelling woman! When you do this, something truly remarkable happens: You will meet the man of your dreams, and HE will fall in love with YOU!

And this time you’ll be ready. This time you’ll have the confidence to open your heart and receive all the love this amazing man has to offer.

So, join Jeannine Addonisio and me to hear us talk about how to become your most confident self so you can find the love of your life and say goodbye to dating forever… Can I get an Amen to that? Click here to join this FREE Online Event and Gift Giveaway: http://jeannineaddonisio.com/theconfidentwoman/lisashield

You don’t want to miss this opportunity to hear the secrets of how to use dating as the catalyst for gaining genuine confidence and attracting the man of your dreams!

This interview is big… it’s powerful… it will change your life!

As always, I want to thank you for all of your love and support!  And if you haven’t joined my Facebook Group, Dating Without Drama, the definitive dating group where both women AND men share their struggles about how to date and relate while searching for their perfect mate, click here to join:  http://bit.ly/2esIwea

Xx,

 

 

Listen to the Best Interview I’ve Ever Done!

manifesting-love-again-blog

Don’t miss my NEW Online Interview!

Hi Everybody!

Please sign up to hear the best interview I’ve ever done! I know everlasting love is what you seek. It’s what we all seek, and it takes courage, confidence, and inspiration to get back out there in the world of dating after you have been hurt in love and yearn to find it again.

As part of my commitment to support you in finding the love you desire, I am here to share an opportunity with you.

Whether you are divorced and single again, single and just haven’t found the right one yet, have had a lot of heartbreak in love, and are looking to find the strength to open up and put yourself back out there again, then you need to hear an interview series I’m participating in with my friend and colleague, Intuitive Relationship & Marriage Coach, Susan Ortolano.

In this interview series we talk about how people can move past the pain of heartbreak, and what it takes to get back out there in dating-land and find love again, for good this time.

Susan is also interviewing over 20 other accomplished relationship and love Experts. And she’s putting it all together in a FREE online event called Manifesting Love Again- How to get back into your groove and finally find the love of your life. I am thrilled to be a part of it!

If that title gives you even a little twinge of excitement, then you’re meant to be there. The event begins October 10th so come join us and discover what you need – the tips, the secrets, and tools to move beyond your past and look ahead to a future filled with hope for love and for the ideal relationship you seek. Here is how to claim your spot for this incredible event now!

Just Click Here To Claim Your FREE Spot!

During this Series you will discover:

  • What you need to do to gain the courage and confidence to get back into the dating world again after heartbreak.
  • Effective and current top notch dating and love tips you need to know, especially if you haven’t dated in a while.
  • How to shift your mindset, up your style, feel more attractive, sexy, and be a magnet for love at any age!
  • Why it is important not to give up on love no matter what and no matter how old you are!
  • How to stay inspired to get back into your groove, hold your head high, and open your heart again.
  • How sex & intimacy factor into the dating process
  • (feel free to add your topic)
  • And so much more!

I am excited to participate in this free online event to continue to help YOU put your heart out there again and find the love that you seek.

Just Click Here To Claim Your FREE Spot!

Honestly, it is an opportunity of a lifetime to get free training in this series featuring me along with some of the top love and relationship experts around.

Reserve your spot now for this inspirational and educational series, and take the next step to Manifest Love Again!

>>>>>(Just Click Here To Claim Your FREE Spot!

 

Much love and many thanks for your support!

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Naked Truth: Do Both Partners Have to Work on the Relationship Together?

Naked Truth: Do Both Partners Have to Work on the Relationship Together?

Naked Truth: Do Both Partners Have to Work on the Relationship Together?

I recently started coaching a couple I’ll call Jake and Ashley. Jake can sometimes be a bit aggressive in the way he gives Ashley feedback. When he does this, Ashley gets reactive because she feels she’s being attacked and blamed for something she did wrong. On numerous occasions in our sessions Jake has sworn this isn’t the case. He isn’t “mad” at her. It’s just that he often doesn’t always have the wherewithal to approach her in a gentle way. He’s working on it, but he admits that he can come across somewhat anxious and abrasive at times.

Recently, Ashley came to see me for a private session. She had a list of incidents where Jake had “attacked” her and set her off. She was also hurt because she felt that this was Jake’s issue. He was the one who was abrasive. So, why did she have to be the one to stop reacting? Shouldn’t he be coming to coaching to work on himself?

Here’s what I told her:

  1. This isn’t an either or situation. Jake should work on his delivery just as much as she needs to work on her reactivity. Both are true.
  2. Usually in a couple, there is one person with a higher level of emotional intelligence. Often that person is the woman. Women are more naturally inclined to focus on their personal and emotional growth. This doesn’t mean the other partner should get a hall pass and not have to work on himself, it just means that one partner is able to grasp issues in the relationship faster and that partner is more likely to be the one to make the changes that are needed to balance out the emotional dynamics in the couple. In this case, Ashley is that person.
  3. It’s not true that two people have to work on a relationship together. When one partner makes changes, the other partner is also forced to change. So, just because one partner doesn’t like going to coaching, it doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed. Each partner in a relationship has different strengths. You want to leverage those strengths. If one person is the primary breadwinner, the other person can focus more on maintaining the emotional stability in the relationship. Susan Page, one of my favorite authors, wrote a book on this very subject: How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together.
  4. Finally, I offered Ashley this solution drawn from my own rather peaceful marriage. Whenever my husband is giving me feedback and I start to feel defensive, I calm myself by reminding myself of the following:

He chose me out of all the women in the world to be his partner, he loves me dearly, and I need to trust that his intentions are good and that any feedback he’s giving me is for the betterment of us and our relationship.

One of the many things I admire most about Ashley is how open and coachable she is. She agreed that she has more of bandwidth for personal growth than Jake. She was also willing to let go of the idea that they both had to be working on the relationship. They still come in for joint sessions, but she is also coming in once a week to do some additional work on her own. In our last joint sessions, when I filled Jake in on what Ashley and I had talked about, he said, “I really liked that part about what you said say to yourself when you start to feel defensive with your husband. When Ashley starts to get upset with me, I am going to remind myself that she loves me, that she chose me out of all the men in the world to be her partner, and that she means well.” When I looked over at Ashley, she was beaming.

 

Is your relationship struggling? Book a consultation and see how I can help!

The Healing Power of Acceptance

The Healing Power of Acceptance

The Healing Power of Acceptance

Naked Truth: Is Someone You Love Pushing You Away?

Naked Truth: Is Someone You Love Pushing You Away?

Naked Truth: Is Someone You Love Pushing You Away?

Hi Lisa. I just lost a great woman I’ve been dating for the past year. It was going really well, but then she started nitpicking about things about me that never seemed to bother her before—my dog, where I live—and said she needed space to find herself again. I’m happy to give her that, but it’s been almost three weeks now and I haven’t heard from her. Her family says she’s confused and hurting. It’s painful knowing she’s suffering and there’s nothing I can do to help. I love her and her six-year-old daughter, and I was ready to ask for her hand in marriage… but I can’t wait forever. My question is, do I give her space and see what happens or just let her go?

Thanks,

Rick

 

Hi Rick,

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I can tell you really care about this woman. From everything you wrote, it sounds like she has an “avoidant” intimacy style that is causing her to push you away. She’s afraid of getting close and needing someone. The closer the two of you become, the more uncomfortable it gets for her. This fear is so powerful that it causes her to nitpick and push you away. What’s tricky is that she doesn’t know that her fear is what’s causing her to feel uncomfortable. She thinks the reason she starts to feel uncomfortable around you is because you’re not the right person for her.

There are some excellent relationship books that could help you understand attachment styles better. I would start with one called “Attached.” Ninety-nine out of a 100 of my clients who read it say they love it! Two other excellent books about adult attachment theory are “Hold Me Tight” and “Wired for Love.” Another option to consider—if she’s willing—is to see a therapist with her. If she is, in fact, avoidant, she will need the help of a therapist understand where her urge to run away is really coming from and how to stop it. You might also want to take a quick compatibility quiz on the “Attached” website. Here’s the link: www.attachedthebook.com/compatibility-quiz You can see what both of your attachment styles are. This information can be crucial to understand what’s happening. From what you’ve written, you seem to have a secure attachment style. When a secure person is in a relationship with someone who is avoidant, it can cause the secure person to become anxious.

My last word of advice: don’t get defensive and block her. I know she broke up with you and it’s really painful, but women are funny. Sometimes, we push men away when we really want them to come back. If you truly adore her like you say you do, I suggest you read these books (or listen to them on audio) and then give her copies. It will be a revelation for both of you. I would love to know how it goes. If you see a therapist, try to find someone who”s done some trainings with John and Julie Gotman or Sue Johnson.

I wish you the very best. I hope this helps, Rick. You sound like a good man.

Warmly,

Lisa

 

Are you struggling in a relationship or trying to figure out how to move forward? Book a consultation with me and see how I can help!

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

Hi Lisa. I am happily married to an incredible woman. Recently, several women from my past decided to walk back into my life after 20 years. How do I get them to back off before they jeopardize my marriage? The ring and paper don’t seem to be enough, and they don’t seem to be respecting traditional boundaries.

-Will

 

Hi Will,

Thanks for reaching out! The single most important person in your life should be your wife, and you need to do everything you can to protect the sacred bond the two of you share. You say these women “walked back into your life,” but I don’t think they just walked in. You had to have let them in. My guess is that you haven’t been clear enough with these women or that you are still trying to be nice and polite so you don’t hurt their feelings. I see this a lot with my male clients. The problem is, if you don’t take care of this, someone else is going to get hurt… and that someone is probably going to be your incredible wife. If these women aren’t respecting your boundaries, I would dispense with any niceties and tell them—in no uncertain terms—that you are flattered they are thinking of you, but that you are happily married and won’t respond to any further attempts on their part to contact you. Hope that helps!

Warmly,

Lisa

Is someone threatening your relationship? Book a consultation with me and see how I can help!

Naked Truth: Protect Your Marriage at All Costs

 

The Price You Pay for Pressuring a Guy Into Proposing

The Price You Pay for Pressuring a Guy Into Proposing

The Price You Pay for Pressuring a Guy Into Proposing

You’re head-over-heels, I’d-do-anything-for-him in love. He tells you he’s never had feelings like this for anyone else before… but every time you look down at your left hand, your heart falls to the floor. He still hasn’t put a ring on it. What’s worse, with each photo of another friend’s diamond ring you see and feel obligated to “like” on Facebook, you become a little more envious, a little more desperate… and a little angrier at the love of your life.

Why the f*** hasn’t he proposed!?!

Few things are more frustrating for a woman than a man who won’t propose. Let’s face it, watching all your girlfriends get married—especially the ones who haven’t even been with their partners as long as you’ve been with yours—can be gut-wrenching. As happy as you are for them, it’s hard not to feel a certain ache when it seems like everyone you know is getting to “I Do”…  except for you. There they are, on honeymoon in Paris, while you’re sitting at home scrolling though your Instagram feed, feeling more embittered by the minute, contemplating ultimatums.

So, what gives?

Over the years, many of my male clients have told me they would marry their girlfriends tomorrow if… drum roll pleasethey would just chill out and stop being so anxious!

Seriously?

Yep. The biggest complaint I hear from the men I coach is that they don’t want to sign-up for a lifetime of fighting and struggling with the woman they love. A big part of the trouble is that all the anxiety and disappointment surrounding the issue of proposals and marriage causes tension and resentment, and before they know it, the sex and intimacy that made their relationship so amazing in the first place is taking a backseat to fighting, name-calling, and bitterness.

And guess what? Sex and intimacy are the things you need most if you want to sustain a healthy, happy marriage!

Believe it or not, men actually want intimacy just as much as women do, but they feel that intimacy more when there’s less fighting. Also, men don’t like feeling as if they’re being pushed into things or that someone is making their decisions for them. Oftentimes, marriage is on a man’s mind, but when he starts feeling pressured and pushed around by his partner, he’ll start to feel threatened, guilty, and confused… and he may have second thoughts. The pressure and fighting can feel emasculating and disrespectful, and it doesn’t bode well for a man’s ego… or his romantic feelings.

The bottom line is this: men are romantic, and when they truly love a woman they want to make her feel special… and eventually make it official. But they want to do it in their own way, on their own timetable, when it feels right.

I know it can seem agonizing to wait for a proposal, but pushing him when he’s not ready or picking fights because things aren’t happening as quickly as you’d like can definitely work against you.

There’s nothing wrong with letting him know you wanna hear those wedding bells chime, but if you beat him over the head with them, they’re going to start sounding like warning bells: get out while you still can!

So, the next time you’re about to let your anxiety and anger get the best of you, think about what’s at stake: you just might sabotage your relationship before he even has a chance to get down one one knee.

If your anxiety is getting out of control and causing you to push your partner away, you might benefit from some coaching. I’ve helped hundreds of couples improve their intimacy and communication and get to marriage… and I can help you, too! In fact, I’ve even officiated at a few of the weddings for couples I’ve coached :-) Click the button below to book a consult…

The Price You Pay for Pressuring a Guy Into Proposing

 

 

Men, Want More Hanky Panky & a Happier Partner?

Men, Want More Hanky Panky & a Happier Partner?

Men, Want More Hanky Panky & a Happier Partner?

Read On!

According to John Gottman, renowned psychologist and relationship expert, women have two major complaints about men:

  1. He’s never there for me
  2. There isn’t enough intimacy and connection in the relationship

I’ve heard the same thing from many of my female clients struggling in their own relationships. It’s hard to have a naked relationship when they don’t feel like their male counterparts are truly there for them. It isn’t simply that they aren’t around enough or that they’re cheating, it’s that they aren’t there for them emotionally. They don’t feel like their men hear or understand them. Left unchecked, these disappointments can be the downfall of a relationship. When I talk about a having naked relationship, I am talking about one that’s emotionally open, but in this case, I am also talking about getting physically naked, too. If a woman doesn’t feel emotionally connected to her partner, odds are she isn’t going to want to have sex with him.

When my husband and I got married, one of his vows was that he would be a guardian of my soul. He promised to be there for me in every way—to listen to me, care for me, and safeguard my heart. For the 14 years we’ve been married, he’s stayed true to his word.

I’ll admit, he’s a rare breed, but one of the things that keeps our relationship so strong is our willingness to practice a simple skill everyday that Gottman refers to as attunement. It doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but when cultivated over time, it can truly transform a relationship.

Attunement essentially means you’re listening to your partner without judgment or pretense.

A – Awareness

T – Turning Toward

T – Tolerance

U – Understanding

N – Non-defensive Responding

E – Empathy

“When men ‘attune’ to their women,” Gottman explains, “there is less fighting, more frequent (and better) sex, and both men and women no longer feel so alone. The fights of many couples result from men dismissing women’s emotions instead of attuning to them. You dismiss woman’s emotions every time you try to fix them, distract her from them, minimize them, mock them, or ignore them altogether.”

Here are 10 ways to start attuning to your partner and strengthening your relationship today!

  1. Give your undivided attention when your partner is sharing with you. Put away your iPhone, turn off the TV.
  2. Make eye contact.
  3. Show genuine interest in trying to understand why she’s talking about a particular issue.
  4. Ask open-ended questions. For example, rather than simply asking “are you upset?” you might say, “You seem upset, is anything going on?”
  5. Listen without giving advice or immediately trying to fix the problem.
  6. Try to feel how she is feeling whether or not you agree.
  7. Validate how she’s feeling. “The emotional part of the brain calms down when it feels connected to another person and not alone. Show empathy,” Gottman suggests. How cool is that?
  8. Create opportunities for connection in small ways every day. For example, set aside 10 minutes every evening to share your day with no interruptions, or take turns giving each other a short massage.
  9. Identify shared goals. For example, maybe you both want to exercise more or plan a dream vacation together in the next 12 months.
  10. When you experience conflict, genuinely ask yourself: “Am I turning toward my partner, or am I turning away?”

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it can be easy to slip into bad habits and start to disregard your partner’s feelings. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) talks about how many couples today are so isolated that they become each other’s sole emotional support system. So, if you’re not tuning into your partner’s needs, she can start to feel incredibly alone and alienated from the person she loves most.

It only takes a few small steps to reignite the connection between the two of you and bring back the spark that attracted you to each other in the first place. And remember, when she gets more of she wants from the relationship, you’ll get more of what you want—a happy partner and more sex!

If you are having trouble attuning to your partner book a consult with me to see how I can help.

Men, Want More Hanky Panky & a Happier Partner?

 

The Male-Female Dynamic

The Male-Female Dynamic

The Male-Female Dynamic:

Discover how to ignite more passion, intimacy & connection in your relationship

It’s crushing, right? You set out to be in an amazing relationship and the two of you just can’t seem to make it work! You know deep in your gut that you two are just perfect for each other, but emotional baggage and unhealthy patterns keep sabotaging your relationship.

Few things can be more frustrating or painful.

But, what if I were to tell you that you could transform your relationship into one that will make you the envy of all your friends?

A fellow relationship coach, Eli Deutsch, has asked me to participate in his brand new online video telesummit: “The Male-Female Dynamic: Discover How to Ignite More Passion, Intimacy & Connection in Your Relationship.” In this interview, I share my pearls of wisdom about how to get emotionally naked so you can move past the issues that are blocking the communication and connection in your relationship.

This free event features me along with 19 other experts, partnering up to help you to have the authentic, deep, connected relationship you long for. To watch my interview, click here: http://themalefemaledynamic.com/xiu9

 

Are you struggling in your relationship? Book a coaching consultation and see how I can help!

The Male-Female Dynamic

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