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December, 2015

8 Guys Reveal the Real Reasons They Ghosted You

 8 Guys Reveal the Real Reasons They Ghosted You

The following article, “8 Guys Reveal the Real Reasons they Ghosted You,” is from Cosmopolitan Magazine. All day long I hear from dating clients who are hurt and confused because people they were dating dropped off the face of the earth never to be seen or heard form again. No matter how you justify it, being ghosted feels awful and it is becoming increasingly common.

My approach, Naked Dating®, stresses being honest and upfront with the people you’re dating, even if it’s for a single date. The only way we can learn and grow from our dating experiences is if we are honest with each other.

Had the men in this article been able to share the truth with these women about why they didn’t want to continue seeing them, these men could have helped the women let go and move on sooner or see the things they were doing to turn these men off.

With all the different methods of electronic communication today, the men didn’t even need to talk to the women face-to face. For example, the guy who got four texts in one night from a woman he’s just met could have texted her and said: “Hey, we just met and I woke up to 4 messages from you. That’s is a little too intense and it doesn’t work for me.” You may think that not responding sends a similar message, but my guess is that this woman is really hurt and she doesn’t really know why this guy never responded to her texts. At some point we have to learn to speak up, create boundaries, and ask for what we want in a relationship. When I was dating, I was lucky to meet several men who were upfront with me about some of the things I was doing that turned them off. I am grateful to them and feel that their feedback helped me become the woman I am today.

8 Guys Reveal the Real Reasons They Ghosted You

“I know most people would say I should have just told her that I didn’t see a future, but those people aren’t thinking about how insanely confrontational that could get.”

Women’s Mastermind Workshop

Women’s Mastermind Workshop

We are thrilled to announce the first ever Women’s Mastermind Workshop. This extraordinary one-day women’s event features LA’s top dating & relationship coach, Lisa Shield, certified N.L.P. trainer & business coach, Ana Grey, and Kundilini yoga & meditation teacher, Dr. Azita Nahai. We are joining forces to discuss some of the most important issues confronting women today.  Together we will explore subjects like attracting more loving relationships, creating a better work-life balance, accessing your feminine power, and much more!

If you are struggling in your life, searching for a new direction, or just wanting to connect with other positive, like-minded women, please join us. This interactive, experiential, transformative workshop is our gift to you. All we ask is that you come with an open mind and an open heart! Space is limited to 50 women! To secure a spot, email itransformimpossible@gmail.com or call/text: 818-588-2265 today!

 

zWomen's Mastermind Workshop

Adventure, Mission & Romance Interview Series

Adventure. Mission & Romance Interview Series

Adventure, Mission & Romance Interview Series

In my latest interview for an online summit called Adventure, Mission & Romance, interviewer and summit organizer, Julie Landi, talks with me about my own dating journey and the philosophy behind my upcoming book, Naked Dating®.  I discuss the many challenges I had to overcome and the 100 first dates I had to endure before finding the love of my life. Julie did an excellent job interviewing me!  You won’t want to miss this!

If you’d like to join me, click here to access your free spot: http://theperformancegroup.us/LisaShield 

As my personal gift to those who participate in the summit, I have created a free PDF called “Naked Dating’s® 6 Secrets for Everlasting Love”

To book a sample coaching session with Lisa Shield, click here:

Adventure, Mission & Romance Interview Series

Do I Really Have to Look for Love?

Do I Really Have to Look for Love?

Do I Really  Have to Look for Love?

Is it possible to meet someone in the course of your life, fall in love, and live happily after? Sure! It’s possible to win the lottery, too, but I wouldn’t bet my retirement on it :-) Personally, I’m shocked by how many people tell me that there’s nothing they want more than to find a life partner, but they do little to make it happen. Maybe they try Internet dating for a couple of months or go to a Meetup now and then, but mostly they live on the hope that fate and circumstances will one day bring the right person into their life. All I can say is that they’re making a huge mistake.

I’ve been a dating and relationship coach for thirteen years. In that time, I’ve had hundreds of attractive, successful clients who went about their lives, focused on their careers, and believed that they would somehow just meet the right person. Now, they’re in their late 30’s or early 40’s, and they’re being hit with a harsh reality the love and family they wanted more than anything has somehow eluded them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that having a partner and family is the end all be all. There’s nothing wrong with being single: I just don’t think most people aspire to spending their lives alone. 

Dating and basic math

The majority of the people I meet want marriage and children and lasting love… and if these things are important to you, then you need to start actively looking for a partner. There’s no guarantee that you’ll meet someone even if you’re looking, but it stands to reason that, the more energy you put into creating a relationship, the faster it will happen. It’s like one of those high school math problems where two cars are traveling toward each other at different speeds. The faster they’re going the quicker they will meet. It also stands to reason that, the more people you date, the more chance you have at finding the best possible partner for you.

But everyone says that I need to stop looking for love

There are lots of people who will tell you the opposite of what I’m saying. They will tell you that they didn’t find love until they stopped looking for it. I assure you, these people didn’t find love because they stopped looking for it. They found love because they let go of the anxiety and desperation they were feeling about not finding someone. Anxiety and desperation are unattractive qualities and they push people away. When you stop fighting the powers that be and start accepting that there are certain things you can’t control–like when, where, or how you and your partner will meet–you’ll be able to date with an open and loving heart. This doesn’t mean that you stop looking for love, it just means that you will be in an even better frame-of-mind to attract it!

Just before my 40th birthday, I came to the realization that I was going to have look for love. I had been doing a ton of self-help work to become a fabulous woman, but somehow, I had less dates than when I was a mess. Go figure! I could have spent more time on a therapist’s couch or done more workshops, but I knew this wasn’t the answer. I just needed to  bite the bullet and start dating. I had a feeling this would be the best way to face my fears and work through my inhibitions with men. This didn’t happen overnight, but eventually I let go of my anxiety and I even began to enjoy going out on dates. It was great practice on so many levels. I learned what I did and did not want in a partner. I also learned a lot about myself and how to appreciate men. I never regret the two years I dated like a fiend. My advice is this: even if you have anxiety and you are not the chill dater you aspire to be, put yourself on the path and start looking for love. If you don’t give up, with time and experience, your anxiety will lift and love will find you.

If you’re looking for support out in the dating world from someone who knows the ropes, set up a sample consult and see what I can do for you!

Naked Dating® is my name and coaching is my game!

Do I Really Have to Look for Love?

 

 

 

 

 

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